Witches have long been a source of fascination, and their mysterious and magical nature makes them perfect fodder for jokes!
Whether you’re looking for a spooky laugh or something light-hearted, this collection of witch-themed jokes will surely cast a smile on your face.
Each joke comes with a witty punchline and a brief explanation to help you appreciate the humor behind it. Let’s brew up some fun!
101+ Funny Jokes About Witches
Witchy Puns to Cast a Spell of Laughter
- Why don’t witches wear regular hats?
Answer: Because they can’t pull off the point!
Explanation: Witches traditionally wear pointed hats, making it a clever play on the phrase “pull off,” which means to successfully execute something. - What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
Answer: A sand-witch!
Explanation: This is a pun on “sandwich,” combining “sand” (from the beach) and “witch.” - Why did the witch become a stand-up comedian?
Answer: Because she could crack up a cauldron!
Explanation: “Crack up” means to make someone laugh, and “cauldron” ties into the witch theme. - Why don’t witches fly when it’s raining?
Answer: Because their brooms might rust!
Explanation: This joke plays on the idea that witches’ brooms are made of metal that could rust in the rain. - What do you get if you cross a witch with a snowman?
Answer: Frostbite!
Explanation: “Frostbite” is a condition caused by freezing temperatures, and here it’s a playful mix of cold (“snowman”) and a witch. - Why do witches make the best teachers?
Answer: Because they know how to spell!
Explanation: This joke plays on the double meaning of “spell,” referring both to casting spells and spelling words. - What do witches use for school projects?
Answer: Spells and glue!
Explanation: A pun on “spells and glue” instead of “spills and glue,” with a magical twist. - Why did the witch go to school?
Answer: To learn witch-craft!
Explanation: A play on the word “craft,” as in both learning a skill and witchcraft. - What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Answer: Hex-ercise!
Explanation: A pun on “exercise” with “hex,” a type of spell. - How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
Answer: With scare-spray!
Explanation: This is a pun on “hairspray,” with “scare” added for a spooky twist.
Broomstick Jokes to Sweep You Off Your Feet
- Why did the witch lose her broom?
Answer: She swept the competition away!
Explanation: “Sweeping the competition away” means to outdo everyone else, and in this case, it’s literal with her broom. - What happens if you cross a broom with a comedian?
Answer: A clean sweep of laughs!
Explanation: “Clean sweep” means a complete victory, tied in with the idea of a broom for extra humor. - Why do witches prefer flying on brooms?
Answer: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Explanation: This joke imagines witches choosing brooms over modern cleaning devices for practical reasons. - What’s a witch’s favorite mode of transportation?
Answer: A broom with zoom!
Explanation: “Zoom” adds speed and excitement to the idea of a flying broomstick. - Why didn’t the witch get her broom inspected?
Answer: She didn’t want to be swept off her feet!
Explanation: “Swept off her feet” usually refers to falling in love or being amazed, but here it’s about her literal broom. - How does a witch park her broom?
Answer: Parallel hexing!
Explanation: A pun on “parallel parking” with “hexing” for a magical twist. - What did the witch say when she got a speeding ticket on her broom?
Answer: “This is a broom-shame!”
Explanation: A play on “shame” and “broom,” implying the disappointment of getting caught. - Why did the witch get rid of her old broom?
Answer: It swept her off her feet too many times!
Explanation: The phrase “swept off her feet” humorously applies to her relationship with her broom. - What did the broom say to the witch?
Answer: “You sweep me off my bristles!”
Explanation: A pun on “sweep me off my feet” with a broom-themed twist. - Why do witches love broomsticks?
Answer: They’re the latest in witch-craft!
Explanation: A pun on “aircraft” with a magical “witch” spin.
Potion Jokes That Will Brew Up Some Laughs
- What’s a witch’s favorite drink?
Answer: Anything brewed!
Explanation: “Brewed” refers to both making potions and brewing drinks like tea or coffee. - Why do witches avoid spicy potions?
Answer: They’re afraid of a spell of heartburn!
Explanation: “Spell” in this context is a double entendre, referring to both magic and a bout of something. - What happened when the witch drank her own potion?
Answer: She got a taste of her own medicine!
Explanation: The phrase “a taste of your own medicine” means experiencing the consequences of one’s actions, literally applied here. - Why don’t witches use iPhones?
Answer: Because they brew their own apps!
Explanation: A pun on “brew,” as in making potions or applications. - What do witches add to potions to make them funny?
Answer: Laughing gas!
Explanation: “Laughing gas” is often used to make people laugh, fitting in with the potion theme. - What do you call a potion that makes you sing?
Answer: A chant-y spell!
Explanation: A play on “chant” and “enchantment,” related to singing and spells. - Why did the witch’s potion turn into a math problem?
Answer: She added too many variables!
Explanation: “Variables” refers to both ingredients in a potion and elements in a math equation. - How do witches test their potions?
Answer: They spell-check them!
Explanation: “Spell-check” is a pun, playing on both magic spells and proofreading. - What did the witch say when her potion was perfect?
Answer: “That’s the brew of a lifetime!”
Explanation: A pun on “brew” and “the deal of a lifetime,” meaning something exceptionally good. - Why do witches love coffee?
Answer: It’s a brew-tiful potion!
Explanation: A pun on “beautiful” and “brew,” tying in with the potion theme.
Spooky and Silly Witch Animal Jokes
- What do you call a witch’s cat that eats lemons?
Answer: A sourpuss!
Explanation: “Sourpuss” is slang for someone who is grumpy, with a twist on a cat eating lemons. - Why do witches like black cats?
Answer: Because they’re purr-fectly magical!
Explanation: A pun on “purr-fect” and “perfect,” highlighting the magical association. - What did the witch’s owl say when it got scared?
Answer: “Whoooops!”
Explanation: A play on the owl’s sound “whooo” and the exclamation “whoops.” - Why did the witch refuse to ride her pet bat?
Answer: It drove her batty!
Explanation: “Batty” means crazy, fitting both the witch and her pet bat. - What’s a witch’s favorite dog breed?
Answer: A blood-hound!
Explanation: A play on “blood” (a spooky reference) and the actual dog breed, bloodhound. - Why don’t witches trust snakes?
Answer: They’re always up to something hiss-terious!
Explanation: A pun on “mysterious” and “hiss,” the sound snakes make. - What did the witch say to her tired broom horse?
Answer: “You look a little horse!”
Explanation: A pun on “hoarse,” referring to a raspy voice, and “horse,” the broom acting as one. - How do witches keep their toads in line?
Answer: With a frog-march!
Explanation: “Frog-march” refers to forcing someone to walk, with a playful twist on frogs. - Why did the witch name her cat Shadow?
Answer: Because it follows her everywhere!
Explanation: “Shadow” refers to something that follows you, fitting for a loyal cat. - What’s a witch’s favorite bird?
Answer: A raven, because it never quoth!
Explanation: A reference to Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven,” with a twist on the famous line “Quoth the raven, ‘Nevermore.’”
Hilarious Witch Halloween Jokes
- Why do witches love Halloween?
Answer: It’s a real treat!
Explanation: A play on the phrase “trick or treat,” emphasizing the fun of Halloween. - What’s a witch’s favorite candy?
Answer: Hex and mix!
Explanation: A play on “Chex Mix,” a snack mix, with a witchy “hex” twist. - Why do witches hate getting too many trick-or-treaters?
Answer: They’re afraid of getting spooked!
Explanation: “Spooked” refers to both being scared and the nature of Halloween. - What do witches carve on Halloween?
Answer: Jack-o-lanterns with a wicked grin!
Explanation: A reference to the traditional Halloween practice of carving pumpkins. - Why do witches throw the best Halloween parties?
Answer: Because they have all the best brews!
Explanation: A pun on “brews,” referring to both drinks and magical potions. - What do witches put on their Halloween pumpkins?
Answer: Witch-hats!
Explanation: A playful twist on dressing up pumpkins with a witch’s hat. - Why did the witch cross the road on Halloween?
Answer: To get to the witching hour!
Explanation: “Witching hour” is traditionally the time when witches are believed to be most powerful, usually around midnight. - What do you call a witch who loves Halloween too much?
Answer: A Hallo-queen!
Explanation: A play on “Halloween” and “queen,” denoting someone who rules the holiday. - What’s a witch’s favorite Halloween game?
Answer: Trick or treat-dle!
Explanation: A pun on “trick or treat” and “doodle,” adding a playful twist to the Halloween theme. - Why do witches wear black on Halloween?
Answer: It’s slimming—and spooky!
Explanation: A humorous take on black being both stylish and fitting for a spooky theme.
Bewitching One-Liners for a Quick Laugh
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject?
Answer: Spelling!
Explanation: A simple pun on “spelling” as a school subject and casting spells. - Why do witches like computers?
Answer: They love all the witch-craft!
Explanation: A pun on “witchcraft” and “craft” as in making things, including software. - What’s a witch’s favorite color?
Answer: Hex code black!
Explanation: A play on “hex code,” which is used to define colors in digital graphics. - How do witches send messages?
Answer: By broom-mail!
Explanation: A pun on “snail mail” or “email,” with a broom-related twist. - What did the witch say when she found out she was gluten-free?
Answer: “That’s the last straw!”
Explanation: A humorous reaction to giving up something, tied in with a broom’s straw. - Why did the witch start a podcast?
Answer: To spell out her ideas!
Explanation: A pun on “spell out,” meaning to explain something clearly, with a witchy twist. - What’s a witch’s favorite social media?
Answer: Insta-grammy!
Explanation: A play on “Instagram” and the word “grammy,” adding a magical elder twist. - Why don’t witches play hide and seek?
Answer: Because good witches don’t vanish!
Explanation: A humorous take on the idea that witches might disappear if they’re too good at hiding. - What’s a witch’s favorite holiday?
Answer: Hexmas!
Explanation: A blend of “hex” and “Christmas,” creating a magical holiday pun. - Why did the witch become a chef?
Answer: She had a recipe for disaster!
Explanation: A common phrase, “recipe for disaster,” is humorously tied to a witch’s cooking.
Spellbinding School Jokes for Magical Students
- What did the witch student bring to school?
Answer: Her spell-book!
Explanation: A simple joke playing on school books and a witch’s magical spells. - Why was the witch’s homework always on time?
Answer: She used her magic to speed-read!
Explanation: A playful idea that a witch’s magic could help her excel in school. - What subject did the witch fail in school?
Answer: Math—she was too hexed out!
Explanation: A pun on “hexed,” referring both to magic and being too tired or overwhelmed. - Why did the witch’s grades drop?
Answer: She was casting spells instead of studying!
Explanation: A humorous take on choosing magic over academics. - What’s a witch’s favorite school supply?
Answer: Spell-binders!
Explanation: A pun on “binders” for organizing schoolwork and “spell” for magic. - Why did the witch join the math club?
Answer: To learn more about witch-craft!
Explanation: A pun on “craft” as both an art and mathematical skill. - What do you call a witch who’s good at school?
Answer: A spell-ar!
Explanation: A play on “stellar,” meaning outstanding, with a witchy twist. - Why was the witch late for class?
Answer: She flew the wrong way on her broom!
Explanation: A humorous excuse for tardiness, tied to a witch’s mode of transport. - What did the witch say during chemistry class?
Answer: “I know this potion!”
Explanation: A clever nod to the similarity between potion-making and chemistry. - Why do witches love history class?
Answer: It’s full of ancient spells!
Explanation: A pun on “history” being about the past and “spells” being old magical practices.
Enchanted Jokes for the Cauldron Enthusiast
- Why did the witch take her cauldron to the party?
Answer: It was a pot-luck!
Explanation: A pun on “potluck,” a meal where everyone brings a dish, with a cauldron twist. - What’s a witch’s favorite soup?
Answer: Potion stew!
Explanation: A play on the idea of a witch mixing potions and making stew. - Why did the witch’s cauldron explode?
Answer: She over-boiled her spell!
Explanation: A humorous take on what happens when a potion goes wrong. - What did the witch say to her bubbling cauldron?
Answer: “You’re on fire!”
Explanation: A pun on both a literal fire and the phrase meaning someone is doing something very well. - Why don’t witches cook with cauldrons anymore?
Answer: They’re too old-school!
Explanation: A joke about cauldrons being outdated compared to modern cooking methods. - How does a witch clean her cauldron?
Answer: With spell-and-water!
Explanation: A pun on “soap and water,” using a magical twist. - What did the witch say when her cauldron cracked?
Answer: “This is stirring trouble!”
Explanation: A play on “stirring up trouble,” combined with stirring a cauldron. - Why was the witch’s cauldron always empty?
Answer: She kept brewing up excuses!
Explanation: A humorous take on someone who always has an excuse, applied to a witch’s cauldron. - What’s a witch’s favorite cooking show?
Answer: “Cauldron Ramsay!”
Explanation: A pun on famous chef Gordon Ramsay, with a witchy twist. - Why did the witch bring her cauldron to the office?
Answer: For some good old brew-and-chat!
Explanation: A pun on “brew” for both coffee and potions, fitting for an office setting.
Magical Misunderstandings: Jokes About Witch Mishaps
- Why did the witch get kicked out of the coven?
Answer: She couldn’t spell!
Explanation: A double meaning of “spell,” referring to both casting magic and writing words correctly. - What did the witch say when her potion didn’t work?
Answer: “I’m hexasperated!”
Explanation: A play on “exasperated,” expressing frustration with a magical twist. - Why did the witch fail her broom flying test?
Answer: She couldn’t handle the lift-off!
Explanation: A humorous take on failing a flying test, akin to a driving test. - What happened when the witch tried to bake?
Answer: Her cake turned into a frog!
Explanation: A joke about a spell gone wrong, turning something unexpected into a frog. - Why did the witch mix up her potions?
Answer: She didn’t read the labels—too much eye of newt!
Explanation: A humorous take on a common mistake, exaggerated with magical ingredients. - What did the witch say when her broom broke down?
Answer: “This is a real witch-u-ation!”
Explanation: A pun on “situation,” with a witchy twist. - Why did the witch’s cat run away?
Answer: She tried to turn it into a toad!
Explanation: A joke about a magical mishap causing a beloved pet to flee. - What did the witch do when her potion exploded?
Answer: “I really blew it!”
Explanation: A play on the phrase “blew it,” meaning to make a big mistake, with a literal explosion. - Why did the witch stop making love potions?
Answer: Too many broken hearts!
Explanation: A pun on love potions causing both literal and metaphorical heartbreak. - What did the witch say when she lost her wand?
Answer: “I’m spell-bound!”
Explanation: A pun on being “spellbound,” meaning captivated, and literally being without her spell-casting tool.
Conclusion
Witches, with their mysterious and magical lives, are perfect fodder for jokes that combine humor with a touch of the supernatural. These witch jokes are sure to bring a smile to anyone who enjoys a good laugh with a sprinkle of magic. Whether it’s a cauldron mishap or a clever pun on spells, these jokes provide a lighthearted way to enjoy the whimsical side of witchcraft. So, the next time you’re looking for a bit of witchy humor, you’ll have plenty of bewitching jokes at your disposal!